The Race and The Unimpressed Panel of Strangers

A few years ago, I was approached by a friend... She asked me, How old is your son now? 20 months? Does he know his colours, animals and modes of transport yet?

I thought she was kidding. she was absolutely serious.

Run, Run, Run as fast as you can! Schools pressurize parents to
enroll their babies as young as 18 months into play groups. In some schools
registration is done while the mother is still on the family way. 

This isn’t something new. Over the last 7 years, I have been observing this mad race, as a mother. A race to get the child educated as soon as the schools dictate you to, to get the child ahead of other children as per the school’s expectations, and to proudly announce to the whole world that you are blessed with a gifted child because a school panel decided so. When you have a baby, every month, you will meet family and friends with one critical question, When is your child starting school?

All first-time parents in Pakistan face this question. Is their toddler ready for the big test and interview? A non-standardized test that has no scientific backing, but that will determine the future of your child's education. Will the baby hold his ground and face the unimpressed panel of strangers and be able to reproduce answers perfectly that the parents have been working on for the last couple of years? The child will be subjected to rigorous training for reading, writing and various picture recognition for as young as 16 months of age, and in some cases I have seen parents trying to train a 8 months old too!

There is a race to reach the basic milestones when the baby is born. The mere natural process of sprouting teeth at 4 months becomes a matter of honor and pride for the parents sold to this imaginary race in their heads, even though it has nothing to do with intelligence or any other skills that the baby might or might not possess, nor has to do anything with time and dedication put forth by the parents. Similarly, when did your child walk, talked, jumped or threw trash in the bin becomes a reason to award boasting rights to the parents. Academics is no different. 

There are so many reasons we give ourselves to make sense of this madness. Our parents did this for us, and look how we turned out we argue. Or sometimes, it’s like This opportunity is the only way to get ahead in the academic world. If our child doesn’t cross this hurdle, what will become of him or her? My child deserves better education than I got and starting early is the key. And then All my friends send their children to similar schools so should I? And not-to-mention your family or friends who know better than you because they’ve been there first... their kids had to clear these hurdles... mine need to as well. Sounds familiar?

This race is defining our schools. Our teachers. Our curriculum. The single-minded focus on getting the best grades or lose at life, is creating stress and anxiety. According to a research conducted on Student Anxiety due to Academic Stress and Parental Pressure by Pondicherry University in India in collaboration with Queensland University of Technology, Australia two out of three children reported stress due to academic pressure. Two out of every 3 students reported feeling pressure from their parents for better academic performance. 

The proverbial journey of a thousand steps starts with one. But that step, and the next few, those are the important ones. They define what direction we are heading in. They define our pace, our purpose. 

If education were a book, academics would simply be a chapter. Is it more important to head in the direction that suits the journey of knowledge led by the child’s interests, or the race of academics?

These are different paths. One takes your child on the wondrous journey of learning, absorbing by experience, and the satisfaction one gets when they finally understand the magic behind an idea by learning at their own pace. The other teaches your child that the world is a ruthless race where you have one shot at winning, and that is by way of excelling at the predetermined linear system. With no room for mistakes.

 One path has success at every turn because it is a path to discovery. The other path chases success, and delivers failure, stress and disappointments.

When you look at it this way, doesn’t that choice sound different now? What right do we have, as parents, to push our children towards this race? Where lies our responsibility? Nature does not hurry. Nature takes its time. So does organic education. We NEED TO STOP PRESSURIZING OUR CHILDREN TO LEARN. They are natural learners. Let them learn and find the joy in learning. 

Borrowing from Sir Ken Robinson, ‘College does not start at Kindergarten. Kindergarten starts at Kindergarten.’

So..

Does your toddler know his colours, animals and modes of transport yet?

Because if they don’t, you have a wonder-filled road ahead of you, where you and your child can learn by experience, led by the child’s interests and their innate sense of wonder and curiosity and every turn is a beautiful, wide-eyed, endearing success.

The unimpressed panel of strangers can wait.